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Emily Howard (Eddie Howard) is a very unconvincing transvestite who owns a guest house in Old Haven. Rather than trying to be like a modern woman, she wears old Victorian dresses and often trails back into her masculine mannerisms. In Season 2 a friend who was also a transvestite was introduced, Florence .

In Season 1 she visited a pub and while visiting the toilet, a man that she had been flirting with caught her urinating standing up.

Appearance[edit | edit source]

Emily wears an old, frilly Victorian dress which is long and is always worn. She also wears a long brown wig that is curled in ringlets and often carries a parasol with her.                

Toilet[edit | edit source]

In most episodes Emily goes to the male toilets and stands up when he urinates but in one episode, when Florence goes to the toilet Emily tells him to go to the female toilets and to "sit down when [he] pisses".

Guest House[edit | edit source]

Emily owns a Guest House in Old Haven in which she invites vistors to stay there, like a bed and breakfast. There are fairly strict rules including that the doors are locked at 8:00pm. And that no one can come into Emily's room, because it's Emily's private room as "any man could walk in on me (Emily)".

...'N' Shit[edit | edit source]

Often, Emily gets tired of being feminine, and she often ends sentences with '...and shit'.

Football[edit | edit source]

Before he became a transvestite, Emily played left-back for Queens Park Rangers F.C. Still now, as a transvestite, he loves football. When Emily and Florence walked past some boys playing football, Emily couldn't resisit the urge and joined in, scoring a goal. This highly shocked Florence .

Emily Howard Doll

The Emily Howard doll was orignally not released worldwide but for some odd reason it was only released in Australia and not anywhere else in the world.

History[edit | edit source]

Before becoming a transvestite, Emily (then Eddie) worked as a docker, a hod-carrier and spent some time in the SAS. He has appeared on television numerous times, including on Kilroy (Topic: My wife has left me for wearing her dresses) and Trisha (Topic: Cocks in Frocks).

He has also often auditioned for 'The Oldhaven Amateur Dramatics Society' but has failed to be cast as Juliet, Blanche, Dubois and Lady Bracknell.

Catchphrases[edit | edit source]

  • "I'm a lady!"
  • "I do ladies things"
  • "...an' shit."
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