| Linda Flint | |
|---|---|
| |
| Name | Linda Flint |
| Age | 57 |
| Gender | Female |
| Occupation | University Counsellor |
| First Appearance | Season 2, Episode 2 |
| Related Characters | Martin / Martina |
| Season(s) | 2, 3 |
| Played By | David Walliams |
Linda Flint is a character who appeared in both the original Little Britain series and Little Britain USA. She was portrayed by series David Walliams.
Description[]
Linda is a University Counselor at the University of the North West Midlands, formerly Dudley Polytechnic. She appears to be a member of the English (literature) faculty, since most of the students she deals with come with inquiries on essays that deal with topics like the works of Sylvia Plath and feminist poetry. Despite this, she will help students with more personal issues, such as family matters.
Whenever a student comes to Linda with a request, she will always need to contact somebody called 'Martin' in order to clear the matter up. Whenever she phones him, Martin (who is an unseen character) will then ask her for the student's name. When this fails to trigger his memory, he then asks Linda to describe the student in question. Linda will always start off nicely, such as describing the clothes which they are wearing, or their hair color and length. However, after that, she will describe them in an extremely offensive manner, and add conclusion to the conversation with an insulting name for the person in question. This is despite the fact that the student is literally sitting right in front of her.
Linda's Office[]
Despite being offensive, racist, homophobic, and a Leaver, Linda has many 'equal rights' posters and other Leftist or Soviet memorabilia and a cup which says 'I Love Moscow'. Building on this image of a left-wing university lecturer, she has various far-left political paraphernalia in her room, including a hammer and sickle flag and communist propaganda flags.
Students Linda has insulted[]
- Joanna Harding - Described as a "Big Fat Lesbian" since she was overweight, had a tomboyish appearance and was doing a feminist poetry essay.
- Kenneth Lao - Described as a "Ching Chong Chinaman" with "yellowish skin and a slight smell of soy sauce." since he was of Chinese descent.
- Paul Roberts - Described as the "Oompa Loompa" that "looks up a lot and got his clothes from baby gap" since he has dwarfism. When Paul walked out, Linda sang the Oompa Loompa song.
- Robin Dashwood - Described as "BALDY!" that "puts you in a mind of a young Elmer Fudd, fell out of the same tree as Duncan Goodhew and could be mistaken for a boiled egg". since he was bald. He was played by Matt Lucas (without added make up or costume). Before he leaves, Linda pats him on the head repeatedly.
- Nina - Described as Magnum, P.I. that "looks like she was slurping a cappuccino, people getting a stubble rash if they kissed her and never heard of Immac" as she had a slight hint of a mustache. Linda also described her as "Chewbacca in a bikini" when she walked out.
- Steve - Described as Ali Bongo. He was described as someone from "It Ain't Half Hot Mum", looks like he just stepped out out from the shower and "think Carmen Miranda without the fruit", since he was an Indian student with a turban. Steve said his name isn't Ali Bongo so Linda changed it to Steve Bongo.
- Molly Spencer - Described as "Molly the Mole", and as "quite petite, almost very pretty, balancing a Malteser on her face and when people see her, they'll say "Careful, there's a bee on ya!", because she has a large mole above her upper lip. When Molly was leaving, Linda sang "I am a mole and I live in a hole."
- Roland Baryl - Described as Fatty Fatty Boom Boom who is "not keen on salad, Eddie Murphy and the Klumps, makes you want to say "Roland, I only want to help you, Roland." and "Barry White in Stars In Their Eyes" as he was overweight, and black. When Roland was leaving, Linda sang "Hey Fatty Boom Boom. Sweet sugar dumpling."
- Andrew - Described as "Handy Andy" that "would not make it as a juggler and would find press-ups very tiring" as he noticeably has only one arm. When he left, Linda said to Martin that she should've likened him to the drummer of Def Leppard. Note: This particular scene was originally cut and placed into the series 3 deleted scenes. This was because David Walliams, according to his own commentary, believed it to be crossing the line in taste. Despite this, Andrew did appear in the final sketch along with all of the other students Linda insulted, but his insult was edited out. However, his insult was included in Post 19 Show.
In the final episode of Season 3, Linda's comments came back to bite her, big time. Whilst enjoying a nice break in her office, and some tea and biscuits, her peace was interrupted by a knock on the door. Linda invited the guest in whereupon the nine students she had insulted over the course of the last two series marched into the office with stern expressions on their faces. They were joined by a tenth student, an unnamed man, with long, curly-red hair whom Linda had nicknamed "Mick Hucknall".
Linda didn't realize what was happening until Andrew stated that the group wanted to lodge a complaint against her. When Paul and Kenneth added that they were sick and tired of her insults, Linda asked what they were referring to. Prompted, the students listed all of the derogatory titles she had used to describe them. When Linda reacted with complete indifference, Roland stated that unlike her, the group found her comments very offensive and wished to lodge an official complaint against her with the faculty.
Despite the seriousness of the situation, Linda did not take the hint or learn her lesson. After taking another bite of her biscuit, she calmly called up Martin again, then proceeded to insult all of her detractors en masse by referring to them all as the "cast of Fraggle Rock" much to the groups ire. It is not known what happened to Linda following this encounter, but since she and Martin were subsequently shown to be working for a different university in the USA it can be assumed that they were both either transferred, or fired from North West Midlands.
Little Britain USA[]
Linda serves in a similar capacity in an American university. She appears only twice in the series (excluding one deleted scene), dealing with students who come with inquiries on their essays on feminist poetry and contemporary African-American poets.
- Stephen Morrow - Described as "Gary Coleman" that "puts you in mind of a Hobbit, gets his clothes from Baby Gap, would've made a fabulous Ewok and Gary Colman's line "Watcha talking 'bout, Willis?" because he has dwarfism and is a African American. As Stephen left her office in shock, Linda sang the Oompa Loompa song.
- Darin Chao - Described as a "Lady Boy" that is described as "a big fan of noodles and pen pals with Clay Aiken" since he looks feminine and is Chinese. When he said goodbye to Linda, she said "Me love you long time!" in a extremely camp and weird voice (a reference to the Da Nang hooker in the 1987 film Full Metal Jacket).
Little Britain Abroad[]
Linda appeared in a deleted scene of Little Britain Abroad. In this particular sketch the tables were turned and Linda was dealt a karmic taste of her own medicine. When she asked for help relating to her visa, Linda's Australian counterpart remarked she had. "greying hair, smelt a bit musky, needed a shave, and was the wrong side of the menopause", before rounding off the description by referring to her as the "Dried-up old witch". Shocked Linda, started to leave the office only for the receptionist to further insult her, by quoting the Wicked Witch of the West. After stepping out of the office, Linda burst into tears.
Little Britain Live[]
- Patricia - Described as Chewbacca that "when she waves, it looks like she has a tarantula under her arm and looks like she's got Brian May and Anita Dobson in a headlock." When Patricia stomped out, Linda did a Chewbacca roar. Patricia appeared in Comic Relief Little Britain when she was played by Patricia Kensit.
- Dave - Described as "Blind Dave" that "wears sunglasses but not in a cool way, would get money off his T.V. license, would be last to pick for a darts team and people could give him V signs and shake their bum at him and he wouldn't realize" since he was blind. When Dave went out, Linda rapidly said "Left, Right and said Don't milk it!" Dave is also played by Matt Lucas.
- Unnamed student - Described as "Fiddler on the Roof" just before he was going to make a request. He wore a traditional Jewish dress.
Little Brexit[]
- Owen Owens - Owen asks for an extension to his deadline on a Gender Studies essay because he was protesting Brexit. Linda calls Martina and refers to Owen as a traitor to democracy and going against the will of the people.
Catchphrases[]
- "Martin, it's Linda"
- "How can I describe her/him?"
- "That's right, [insulting phrase]."