Linda Flint

Linda Flint
Name	Linda Flint
Age	57
Gender	Female
Occupation	University Counsellor
First Appearance	Season 2, Episode 2
Related Characters	Martin / Martina
Season(s)	2, 3
Played By	David Walliams

Linda Flint is a character who appeared in both the original Little Britain series and Little Britain USA. She was portrayed by series David Walliams.

Description

Linda is a University Counselor at the University of the North West Midlands, formerly Dudley Polytechnic. She appears to be a member of the English (literature) faculty, since most of the students she deals with come with inquiries on essays that deal with topics like the works of Sylvia Plath and feminist poetry. Despite this, she will help students with more personal issues, such as family matters.

Whenever a student comes to Linda with a request, she will always need to contact somebody called 'Martin' in order to clear the matter up. Whenever she phones him, Martin (who is an unseen character) will then ask her for the student's name. When this fails to trigger his memory, he then asks Linda to describe the student in question. Linda will always start off nicely, such as describing the clothes which they are wearing, or their hair color and length. However, after that, she will describe them in an extremely offensive manner, and add conclusion the conversation with an insulting name for the person in question. This is despite the fact that the student is literally sitting right in front of her.

Linda's Office

Despite being offensive, racist, homophobic, and a Leaver, Linda has many 'equal rights' posters and other Leftist or Soviet memorabilia and a cup which says 'I Love Moscow'. Building on this image of a left-wing university lecturer, she has various far-left political paraphernalia in her room, including a hammer and sickle flag and communist propaganda flags.

Students Linda has insulted

• Joanna Harding - Described as a "Big Fat Lesbian" since she was overweight, had a tomboyish appearance and was doing a feminist poetry essay.
• Kenneth Lao - Described as a "Ching Chong Chinaman" with "yellowish skin and a slight smell of soy sauce." since he was of Chinese descent.
• Paul Roberts - Described as the "Oompa Loompa" that "looks up a lot and got his clothes from Mother care." since he has dwarfism. When Paul walked out, Linda sang the Oompa Loompa song.
• Robin Dashwood - Described as "BALDY!" that "puts you in a mind of a young Elmer Fudd, fell out of the same tree as Duncan Goodhew and could be mistaken for a boiled egg". since he was bald. He was played by Matt Lucas (without added make up or costume). Before he leaves, Linda pats him on the head.
• Nina - Described as Magnum, P.I. that "looks like she was slurping a cappuccino, people getting a stubble rash if they kissed her and never heard of Immac" as she had a slight hint of a mustache. Linda also described her as "Chewbacca in a bikini" when she walked out.
• Steve - Described as Ali Bongo. He was described as someone from "It Ain't Half Hot Mum", looks like he just stepped out out from the shower and Carmen Miranda without the fruit", since he was an Indian student with a turban. Steve said his name isn't Ali Bongo so Linda changed it to Steve Bongo.
• Molly Spencer - Described as "Molly the Mole", and as "almost very pretty, balancing a Malteser on her face and when people see her, they'll say "Careful, there's a bee on ya!", because she has a large mole above her upper lip. When Molly was leaving, Linda sang "I am a mole and I live in a hole."
• Roland Baryl - Described as Fatty Fatty Boom Boom who is "not keen on salad, Eddie Murphy and the Klumps, makes you want to say "Roland, I only want to help you, Roland." and "Barry White in Stars In Their Eyes" as he was overweight, and black. When Roland was leaving, Linda sang "Hey Fatty Boom Boom. Sweet sugar dumpling."
• Andrew - Described as "Handy Andy" that "would not make it as a juggler and would find press-ups very tiring" as he noticeably has only one arm. When he left, Linda said to Martin that she should've likened him to the drummer of Def Leppard. Note: This particular scene was originally cut and placed into the series 3 deleted scenes because. This was because David Walliams, according to his own commentary, believed it to be crossing the line in taste. Despite this, Andrew did appear in the final sketch along with all of the other students Linda insulted, but his insult was edited out. However, his insult was included in Post 19 Show.

In the final episode of the original series, Linda's actions finally came back to bite her, big time. Whilst enjoying some tea and biscuits, her peace was interrupted by a knock on the door. When she called out, instead of a single person, all of the students that she had insulted since her debut marched into the office with stern expressions on their faces. They were joined by a previously unseen man, with long, curly-hair whom Linda had apparently referred to as "Mick Hucknall".

Linda didn't realize what was happening until Andrew stated that the group had come to lodge a complaint against her. According to Paul and Kenneth, they were all sick and tired of Linda's insults. When they listed all of the derogatory titles that she had used to describe them, Linda reacted with complete indifference, not seeing what the issue was. This prompted Roland to state quite clearly that he and the others wanted to lodge an official complaint against her with the faculty.

Despite the seriousness of her situation, Linda did not learn her lesson. After taking another bite of her biscuit, she calmly called Martin again so that they could sort out the issue. When he picked up the phone however, Linda insulted all of her detractors by referring to them universally as "the whole cast of Fraggle Rock" much to the students ire.

It is not known what happened to Linda following this particular encounter, but in her subsequent appearances both she and Martin were shown to be working for a different university in the USA. As a result of this, it can be assumed that Linda was fired from North West Midlands.

Little Britain USA

Linda serves in a similar capacity in an American university. She appears only twice in the series (excluding one deleted scene), dealing with students who come with enquiries on their essays on feminist poetry and contemporary African-American poets.

• Stephen Morrow - Described as "Gary Coleman" that "puts you in mind of a Hobbit, gets his clothes from Baby Gap, would've made a fabulous Ewok and Gary Colman's line "Watcha talking 'bout, Willis?" because he has dwarfism and is a African American. As Stephen left her office in shock, Linda sang the Oompa Loompa song.

• Darin Chao - Described as a "Lady Boy" that is described as "a big fan of noodles and pen pals with Clay Aiken" since he looks feminine and is Chinese. When he said goodbye to Linda, she said "Me love you long time!" in a extremely camp and weird voice (a reference to the Da Nang hooker in the 1987 film Full Metal Jacket).

Little Britain Abroad

Linda appeared in a deleted scene of Little Britain Abroad. In this particular sketch the tables were turned and Linda was dealt a karmic taste of her own medicine. When she asked for help relating to her visa, Linda's Australian counterpart remarked she had. "greying hair, smelt a bit musky, needed a shave, and was the wrong side of the menopause", before rounding off the description by referring to her as the "Dried-up old witch". Shocked Linda, started to leave the office only for the receptionist to further insult her, by quoting the Wicked Witch of the West. After stepping out of the office, Linda burst into tears.

Little Britain Live

• Patricia - Described as Chewbacca that "when she waves, it looks like she has a tarantula under her arm and looks like she's got Brian May and Anita Dobson in a headlock." When Patricia stomped out, Linda did a Chewbacca roar. Patricia appeared in Comic Relief Little Britain when she was played by Patricia Kensit.
• Dave - Described as "Blind Dave" that "wears sunglasses but not in a cool way, would get money off his T.V. license, would be last to pick for a darts team and people could give him V signs and shake their bum at him and he wouldn't realize" since he was blind. When Dave went out, Linda rapidly said "Left, Right and said Don't milk it!" Dave is also played by Matt Lucas.
• Unnamed student - Described as "Fiddler on the Roof" just before he was going to make a request. He wore a traditional Jewish dress.

Little Brexit

• Owen Owens - Owen asks for an extension to his deadline on a Gender Studies essay because he was protesting Brexit. Linda calls Martina and refers to Owen as a traitor to democracy and going against the will of the people.

Catchphrases

• "Martin, it's Linda"
• "How can I describe her/him?"
• "That's right, [insulting phrase]."